Happy Family…Happy Home: 5 Family Rituals to Follow With Kids

As aptly put by Kathy T. Heustess, “We all bring issues, traditions and rituals from our families of origin. Couples must figure out what to keep and what to discard as they create a new union and blend their expectations”.

A family ritual is something that all the members of the family do together. It varies from a family to another depending upon their traditions and beliefs. It could be as small as cooking a meal together or singing a particular song at bed time every night. A family ritual gives each member a sense of identity and helps raise the vibration of any home to a happy home.

I am listing a set of 5 Family Rituals that are not backed up by any one custom or belief system. You may choose to pick either one or all and make it a part of your family practice. The goal here is to spend quality time with your kids and spouse.

1.   Family Hug: We all love to be loved and cared for, and a hug everyday can be icing on the cake. A casual hug is not what I am referring to here but a hug that is as warm and cuddly as a big teddy bear’s hug. Make it a point to circle for a family hug every day. You can choose a time, during the day before the spouse(s) leave for work and kids are off to school. Or each night before bed time. You can also extend the family hug to days when someone in the family is fighting blues. To let them know that they are not alone. A family hug also works best to celebrate a family member’s achievement in school or at work!

2.   Family Day: Choose a day in a month when all the family members are off from work and school. Plan it a week in advance. Make it a family day. Do not entertain any friends or colleagues on that day. Try and keep your phones on airplane mode for the day, if possible. You may plan the day for a family entertainer movie or a bowling game or a picnic. Going for a long drive to nearby places for lunch is yet another option. If kids are still young take them to a play zone and spend some quality time with them. At the end of the day you will have happy and tired kids. And a contended parent yourself without a doubt.

                                

3.   Bed Time Stories: Bed time is a special time to bond with your kids. They are keen listeners. Also, a proven fact is that we subconsciously think about the thoughts that we sleep with. Grab this time as an opportunity to teach your kids the good values that you want to see them grow up with. There are loads of good stories to share. From Panchtantra to Ramayana, from Shravan Kumar’s story to Bal Krishna’s life instances, from Eklavya’s story of his gratitude towards his teacher to the land of Fairytales. Story telling inculcates in kids the value of relationships in their life. It also gives roots to their imagination and creative solutions for simple problems.

4.   Day Review: Every night make it a ritual to ask the kids what they liked about the day’s activities. And anything they did not like and why? It will help you understand them better. This ritual facilitates kids to share even their deepest fears, sorrows and concerns with the parents.

5.   Pray Together: Last but not the least, pray together. Create a prayer or an affirmation that is familiar to just your family. Choose a particular time, morning or evening, to conduct the activity. Say the prayer or affirmation you and your kids composed together. Teach them the power of prayer.

Rituals have always been an integral part of human race. Formulate a few special customs to follow with your kids. Nurture tomorrow’s future with today’s wisdom.

Build Happy Home…Create Happy Family!

Life without you won’t be the same…But One Day I Have To Let Go Of You! Let Me Love You A Little More Before You’re Not Little Anymore

Son, when you first shared your dreams with me to set your foot on moon, I believed in you. Those sparkling eyes and your drive to discover new planets and galaxies, your eagerness to travel beyond time in space, made me Wish for your dreams to come true!

I still remember the moment I held you in my arms. You were so tiny and I was scared. You filled my life with laughter. I was captivated to your innocent smile. Your giggles and snuggles became a routine. Like a paparazzi I tried to capture every mood of yours.

  

It seems just like yesterday when you could not tie your shoe laces, when you waited for me to change your clothes, when any silly run around the house was a game, when you were the centre of my world and I was your whole world. It was a time when hugs and kisses were not bound to reasons. There were no sulking days. A mere distraction was enough to cheer you up and forget your fears.

Look at you today young man. You have grown so fast. Time does feel to slip out of hands! You are off to school busy scheduling between studies, music, taekwondo, dance, sports. Once back home you again have a day planned.

You now appear to have a road map laid to find your destiny. You have expanded your horizon of aspirations.

Sooner than I realize you would be ready to fly out of the nest your dad and I built for you over the years. You will leave a trail of memories behind for us to cherish. Our destinations would differ and our lifestyles would vary. With new technology breaking paths every day, don’t judge your folks based on our knowledge and disability to use advanced tech equipped gadgets.

We have done for you the best we could. We gave you wings to soar high. We won’t burden you with the baggage of emotions that your dreams retreat even before its time for you to try!

The day would slip in inaudibly when you retire us of our routine duties and keep us (parents) as your hotline number only; calling us when in need. And we would still be happy to be on the other side of the mirror.

A saying goes around “Men are what their mothers made them”. I have taught you to be human; I have taught you to be tolerant. I have let you fall to understand pain. I have allowed you to make decisions to differentiate between what works sometimes and what does not work at times. I have encouraged you to cry when you felt the need. I have wiped your tears and stood by you in times of fright. I have taught you the strength of prayer.

I have tried imparting to you all the qualities your woman would want to see in her man.

I am letting go of you, slowly and gently.

So, be vigilant of your desires. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined. At the same time, remain entrenched in the ground to reach your roots when your heart feels the need. I am cutting the unseen umbilical cord today that joined you to me from your birth. I am setting you free to touch the sky of your limits.

Keeping Kids Safe: Be Alert So Kids Don’t Get Hurt

I woke up to my 5 o’clock alarm. My husband was still working in his studio. I seized the opportunity to have a cup of tea with my darling husband early in the morning; usually a rare moment in my life! As my husband is not a tea lover. “O’ What a fresh morning,” I thought to myself and giggled.

Soon we both got engaged in our own activities. It was time for him to sleep after a hard work through the night. I got busy getting my elder son ready for school.

Though my son has somehow adjusted to the school transport yet there are few days every month when he nags me to let him be a walker as his best friend.

Today was one such day! But after a lovely start to my day I was not prepared to the emotional nagging drama of my son. Yet there I was consoling him, hugging him, kissing him, and trying to ease up things for him.

I was upset for a while. We walked to the bus stop, silently. His eyes were still wet. But suddenly that was not bothering me anymore, as there seemed to be a bigger problem.

The bus driver and the lady guard were the same as every day. I could not understand who the 3^rd person in the bus was and why was he there? Where was the usual conductor of the bus route!

I exchanged goodbyes and flying kisses with my son as I watched the bus pass me through. I could sense the discomfort in his eyes as there was a new person in the bus, who was not in uniform, his hair was undone and he looked filthy. Also, the fact that there was no teacher in the school bus but only a handful of kids was enough to trigger my panic button.

More than my son now I was scared. This brought to surface the last year’s incident of a 4 year old child molested in the same school’s bus, by similar negligence on part of the school authorities.

Now, it was not just the question of my son’s safety but my moral duty to stand up to voice the carelessness on part of the school transport management.

I quickly wrote an email hoping an immediate action. It was to no use as I did not hear from the school.

My next step was to go to school and confront the transport manager about the whole episode. Minutes later I was in the school reporting the issue. I was surprised and taken aback when I heard the casual statement by the transport manager himself that he knew there was a new person in the bus who was neither a school staff, nor was he verified and was only replaced as they had a shortage of staff for the day.

This meeting lasted only for a few seconds with a slack reassurance.

Many parents must have been through a similar situation concerning their child’s safety in school.

Henceforth, this article is to bring in awareness to the parents and guardians of children availing school transport. Kindly tighten your grip on the school authorities for the safety of your child / children.

Considering the busy schedules and tired lifestyle we have all come to terms with, I would request all those reading this article to find a little quality time to spend with your kids. To know more about their school, their friends, their likes, dislikes and anything else that they might want to share. Be present for them undisturbed. Understand their needs and assure them to reach you if at any point in life they feel threatened or unsafe.

Our kids are our future but we can only enjoy the future with them if we are a part of their present.

Happy Fostering!!

Love Lane: Been There, Done That!

Love always enters our life silently. Sometimes, it is love at first sight; at others it’s an array of confusing thoughts. For some love is an instant connection between two hearts and souls, where in, for others it can be a slow and steady path to tread.

For some it is felt more than touched. For some love is caressing. Sometimes simply smiling at a stranger gestures love…a form of love without any reason and attachment; yet at other times, being a reason for someone’s smile is love.

However we define Love, it does seem to rule and shape our life! And we all need a bit of love every now ‘n’ then.

We love to be hugged. We love to be complimented. We love to be appreciated. Occasionally, we also love to be pampered. Sporadically we love to be loved without any reasons. And the times we deserve it the least, we long to be held close to our beloved and hugged with love. On special days, like birthdays, anniversaries and festivities expectation of love, by default, doubles its need. The list is endless!

Love is welcomed in life to flow with ease when one is not in a committed relationship!

So, what is it with married or committed couples across the globe that changes the plan of love? The fact is that the map of love remains the same; it is ones perception that changes.

Two people are two different individuals till the time they are not committed to each other. Then comes the day of vows and promises…till death do us part!

Dysfunction is that people take the vows literally. They start piling upon the other for all their needs. Sometimes, without even realizing, people start taking each other for granted; then follows nagging and arguments. Life is now set on an automated loop – nag, argue, fight, patch up.

At other times, when conversations cease to exist between couples, either or both retrieve to their shells.

Love is still present between them but nicely kept and deeply hidden in the darkest corner in their hearts. People distance themselves from the one person they fought with the entire world, to be with. They stand opposite each other not realizing that the gap between them is merely an illusion. 

There are always two sides to a story. One is ‘I Love You’ and the other says ‘You Love Me’. Idealization of both the stories is distinct from the realism people live in. No sooner than we realize comes a time when the pressure of day to day life over powers the idea of love. Communication becomes texting; sex becomes a daily errand and people become zombies; walking dead without feelings.

The point here is that: Situations don’t change People; People change Situations. Only if…They want to!

In spite of everything couples do for each other they will still have difference of opinions, for everyone see’s the world through their eyes and walk the course from their own experiences.

Important is to keep the spark of love alive.

Leaving on this note to ponder:

In your life, is it ‘Love Actually’ or is it ‘Love Casually’!

Love Is Not Enough for a Marriage to Work

‘Naina, you have separated me from my family. You are the reason for all my sufferings. How I wish I had not married you’!

Mukul’s words kept replaying in Naina’s mind. She could not believe her ears. She was devastated to know what Mukul thinks about her. Up until now she believed that she was Mukul’s pillar of strength as they both stood many tests of time holding on to each other. Their disagreements never made a way into their love life. Her eyes were flooded with tears that she almost fainted.

Regaining consciousness, now calm and composed, Naina replayed the movie of her life in her mind.

Mukul and Naina were school mates. But their life took separate turns after they passed out from school. Nearly after a decade, one afternoon on a rainy day, they bumped into each other on a busy street of a local market. Back then neither of them knew that their future was pre-destined. Within few months of knowing each other afresh, they decided to get married.

Life seemed a bed of roses as both had high expectations of love from the other. They were so mesmerised by the very fact of being together that reality of life seemed nothing beyond a fairytale.

Months passed by and years took over. They became parents to 3 lovely kids. But the baggage of responsibilities took toll on their relationship. Conversations turned into arguments, fights became a regular activity in their life. Their actions were now governed by their levels of frustration which at times were unexplainable.

Result of which was the statement that Mukul had made today. Naina was unaware of what went down Mukul’s mind that made him so rude and distanced. Naina’s first reaction was walking out of the relationship by filing a divorce. She even considered suicide not once but n number of times; and every time she was over powered by the thought of leaving her children alone in this big bad world.

She was aware of her husband’s strained relationship with his parents much before they got engaged. The fact that Naina was not happily accepted in the family was also not hidden from her. Naina’s mother-in-law grew insecure of her as she was Mukul’s choice. After marriage she tried to bridge the gap but failed to an extent that Mukul and Naina had to finally take a call of moving out from the joint family structure in search of a peaceful living.

Life had its share of ups and downs for Naina and Mukul too. But their love and understanding seemed to keep them together.

Then what had dawned upon Mukul that he did not think twice before blurting the harsh words out his mouth. He forgot all the times when Naina stood by him, believed in his calibre, motivated him to be the best version of himself, held his hands when he felt weak, mended his broken heart; more so that unknowingly Naina had started to live his life in her body.

Naina was upset. She was hurt. She was vulnerable. For, by now, she had forgotten that she was another individual with specific choices, desires and needs.

A day passed by. Naina and Mukul did not speak to each other; as if everything was said n done between them. A day turned into days and the silence became calmer just like it is after a storm.

Naina took this opportunity to retrospect about her life. She was now in her mid 40’s and had become an ancient history to herself.

By now she had realized, love was not enough to keep her going in this relationship; Marriage is more than love. It is acknowledging that two people in an alliance are different individuals with an opinion of their own that are framed according to their life experiences. Marriage is also a two way route of give and take.

She had given upon her dreams, her aspirations and her preferences without regrets.

Now was the moment to take her pride back. She wanted to return in her most loved relationship feeling equal. Naina began digging deep in her heart with a hope to find the little girl she had lost long ago. She started to paint her dreams, take accountability for her actions. The greatest lesson she learnt from her turmoil was to learn to say ‘No’ at the right time, even if it does not feel good to the other. Complying by saying ‘Yes’ to everything makes you no more than a door mat.

Naina recounted all the good times she had spent with Mukul. She came to terms with the fact that her happiness is her own responsibility. Her suffering is her own formation.

Similarly, what Mukul was going through was a world of his creation. Blaming Naina for his failures and separation from his family was merely a way to escape facing the repercussions of one’s actions.

Naina decided to take a step back and stop being Mukul’s punching bag.

She knew Mukul had gone too far this time with his words and that their relationship will never be the same again. Naina had already forgiven Mukul for forgiveness she knew he will never ask for. She loved him then. She loved him still, but this time she had learnt to love and respect herself equally.

An Interview with the Cook of the House

My son came back home after a fruitful day at school. All excited and geared up to interview his mom – the Cook of the House. I could sense the excitement in his voice. Distance from the bus-stop to our home was covered with a never ending conversation about his experience of interviewing the didi’s in school. He was pleased to know on the subject of what the didi’s liked about their work and was astonished to hear that they also faced some struggles while on job.

New methodology of teaching in school’s these days suddenly seemed like a meaningful activity in my life. Kids were not only getting hands on experience of what they were taught in the class but were also realizing to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of their family members and helpers around.

Today was a day unlike everyday for my little one. He was the journalist for the day, all set and ready with the questionnaire for his mom. I was excited too! For a fact that at least someone in the house wanted to know me better. And of course, given an opportunity who would not like to be a celebrity for a day!

TV time reduced to half-n-hour from an hour, a quick take on homework was another surprise and after the successful completion of taekowondo class, my son sat me down next to him. All he wanted was my full concentration and my answers to his questions.

The teacher had nicely framed the survey. Every question came as an awakening to me.

I have been cooking for over a decade now. Initially, when I was introduced to kitchen after marriage, it was a pleasure cooking for the family. My kitchen was more like a scientist’s lab that had witnessed new recipe experiments on a daily basis. Those were the days I loved to cook as my family appreciated my efforts and were all praise for my cooking trials.

Gradually, with increasing responsibilities cooking became a daily chore. By now I had become a humanoid robot programmed to cook as and when the demand arose. Kitchen seemed to be the only place I spent most of my day.

Up until today, while trying to figure out answers to my son’s questions, I had come face to face with the truth that how much I hated to be the cook of the house.

Not that I don’t want to cook for the people I love but now I reckon that I wasn’t born just to cook.

Baking is my latest craze. And as much difficult it was to sign up for hands on classes so much easy and handy came in the technology. YouTube is my tutor and my smart phone my learning platform. Cakes, cup cakes, pasta and pizza popped up like my new found love.

To put an end to my time management struggle in between the kitchen chores and other daily activities I hired a help to cut and chop vegetables; shedding nearly 90% of my cooking pressure.

Each response to the interview questions was candid. This practice taught my son to appreciate my efforts that goes into cooking every meal of each day.

As for me, this quick run through on the subject of cooking got me a step closer to knowing myself better.

To all the women who lose their individuality and identity after marriage and are mostly judged on the basis of their cooking abilities, it’s time to wake up and stand up for your desires. If cooking is not what you love to do, there are part-time helpers to do the needful. Make good use of the help available.

As for oneself, put your dancing shoes on and enrol for a dance class if that’s what you have been waiting for. Or get your reading glasses on and finish up the novel you have been dying to read for God knows how long! Stop waiting for life to happen….Get your ass up and Make Life Happen; and henceforth, you will be happy, Always!

‘Can I become a walker mommy? Bus scares me!’

This day started as just another day. My alarm went off at 5.30 in the morning. I made myself a pot of tea and enjoyed it with a quick scroll at facebook updates on my phone, as every day. I made tiffin for my elder one, woke him up, got him ready, dropped him to bus stand. Assured he was safely seated I walked back home.

One job successfully done! Smiling at my younger one I thought, once you are off to school I have three hours to get back on my beauty sleep that I had now been missing for days due to work pressure.

Least did I know there were horrific events waiting to unfold.

My phone rang. It was none other than my sister. We talk everyday once in the morning so it seemed normal till she spilled the words ‘have u had a chance to read the newspaper today?’ ‘No’, I replied sheepishly. ‘What’s the news that I am missing on?’ I asked.

A 4 year old girl has been molested in a private school bus. For a micro second I felt I skipped a heartbeat.

I hanged the phone and read the article. It sent chills down my nerves. My daughter travels by bus was my first concern. But alarming was that the school that came to lime light because of the incident was none other than my daughter’s school.

I panicked. I did not know how to react. I was fuming from within, but did not know where to direct my anger.

My watsapp started flooding with the images of newspaper article and comments by furious parents. A debate was on as to what action should be taken against the school authorities. After all, the incident proved that our children were no more in safe hands now.

My mind kept wandering to that little girl who was molested. I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for all the little girls and boys who are subjected to child abuse every now n then. I felt sorry for their helplessness and their suffering, because we are raising them in a society which is not capable enough to hold back its lust for skin.

Today the society needs more healers and empaths than we need doctors, engineers or successful leaders.

We need change. We all desire some or the other change in the system. The point is how many of us think of such episodes as a wakeup call and try doing something about it? 80% out of us don’t bother. 10% who do bother are afraid to raise their voice only to save their loved ones from being a victim to such incidents. Yet another 5% dare, speak up and sit down considering the direction of the wind.

With the remaining 5% who actually try and be the change they desire, we need nothing less than a miracle.

Growing incidents, like such, because of school’s negligence has once again raised a question on the authenticity of private schools information shared with parents on the security norms.

This day will pass. The incident will soon become news. People will debate, ponder over, and then sooner than we realize it will become a matter of past.

How I wish every child could be nurtured in a safe and protected environment; so that they grow up with fond memories to travel back their memory lane.

How I wish our government had passed strict laws and punishment for heinous crimes like these, the cases of child abuse would not have been on rise.

Rather all I can wish is that may the pain and scars of this occurrence heal and disappear with time from the mind of the innocent girl who had to go through an ordeal of sexual abuse because of people who did not care enough to provide her with the right to security.

It’s a shame on the school authorities and management who risk the life of innocent children by not keeping a regular check on the safety and security measures. Though norms have been framed by CBSE for the same and authorized by the government, to be followed.

It was a true incident that took place in a moving bus of a private school last week. It came to highlight after being published in the leading newspapers.

Spread a word and stand up for the safety rights of your child.

Every child is precious and their security should be our prime concern.

Stay Alert! Stay Safe!

  

Awaken to the Real World of Our Children and School Transport Security

Past few months have been a period of ongoing unrest for me. Rather I would say for most of the parents whose children avail school transport services. On news channels, in newspapers, one can find n number of cases where negligence of school authorities led to the death of innocent children.

My son has just turned 7. He was happy that now he gets the opportunity to be a bus traveller like his cousin (who is 9 and had been telling my little one the tales about time he spends in school bus with his friends). I too sighed a relief knowing there were no pick n drop issues. I could have my morning tea with peace, read the newspaper without being disturbed and happily drop my kid to the bus stop outside our society gates; the very fact that he was in safe hands relaxed me a bit further.

My happiness was short lived or rather, say just about a week. Least did I know my fairy tale days were about to end in a deep regret. My son was endless with complaints, a regular being the ac of the bus was never working; and the other being 10 minutes late arrival of the bus in the afternoon. I dreaded the mornings when I had to drop my son to the bus stop. He would cry hysterically almost every day and beg me to consider making him a walker again. I started counselling him on the issue. And the facts that I learnt were quite disturbing.  The driver drives rashly in the afternoons as the bus usually leaves the school premises 10 to 15 minutes late than its usual time; the driver of his bus once banged the bus (later I got to know that his licence was ceased by the parents where the incident happened and he was beaten up badly). More to my astonishment the lady guard misbehaved with me and abused me for asking why the bus was 40 minutes late than its arrival time and why were we not informed for the same (though she was replaced the next day after my complaint, yet there were other issues that needed attention). There were 5 teachers in the bus who acted as mere dummies to the whole drama and did not even have the courtesy to apologize to a panicked parent.

That was the day I thought to myself, if these are the kind of teachers who themselves cannot stand for a cause, what knowledge and self belief are they going to impart to my son and other children who witnessed the incident in the bus. I felt sorry for my son that I had chosen a school with a brand than the one with values.

Life went by making my mornings miserable until summer break started. Things were better as there was no crying for school bus. Then one day before the school was to reopen I got a call from the conductor of my son’s school bus. He fed me with the information about the change in route and the new bus driver’s number; but had no clue of the bus number or the route. I was taken aback! Why was the call not made by the transport in charge or the class teacher herself? Why was only half information passed on?

Later that day what happened left me thinking, is my child really in safe hands? Standing at the bus stop with no trace of bus till 3.40 pm, I panicked and feared almost the worst. There was no information of bus delay from school. The bus that came for pick up that day was not even his regular yellow colour school bus. It was a traveller bus. No one was ready to take our calls, not even the school authorities. All I knew was the bus broke down in the middle of nowhere. I never felt helpless and clueless in my whole life as I felt today.

That’s it! I decided to take things head on. I was tired of complaining about the flaws in school transport system. I wanted strict measures to ensure the safety of my child. I wanted a change! Talking to other parents and friends (kids going to different schools) on the same issue made me feel how laid back our attitude is when it comes to our child’s safety in school bus! Why? What do we fear? And what followed next sent chills down my veins. ‘We don’t want problems for our children in the school. What if we complain against the driver or the guards and they try to harm our kids? What if their school grades suddenly start to drop just because we had some issues with school security measures and we complained?’, came the reply from most of the parents who pitied their situation by making themselves feel powerless and helpless.

Really! I could not buy in the points. It began a new chapter in my life. This gave me a cause to fight for or at least raise my voice and be heard. It was not the question of just my child now. It was for the whole lot of innocent children who travel in school buses thinking they were safe. Were they!

As always google came to my rescue. I began my search to know if there were any transport safety norms that schools should adhere to. I stumbled on one news after the other about how a school’s negligence took an innocent life and left behind grieving parents.

I promised myself I will not hold my anger till a tragedy comes knocking my door. So I decided if I want a change, I will be that change. After a thorough research of 3 days, my laptop is full of articles and regulations on how Supreme Court has strict regulations for schools to follow for providing transport. Even CBSE board also has some transport safety norms that a school has to abide to before the affiliation.

Guessing that, like me, most of you parents out there are unaware of the transport safety regulations laid by both Supreme Court and CBSE board. So for your awareness and knowledge I will pass on as much as I feel as a parent is our right to know. (copied and pasted directly from the website: http://cbseaff.nic.in/cbse_aff/Circulars/cir_school_trans_2012.pdf)

CENTRAL BOARD OF SECONDARY EDUCATION (An Autonomous Organization under the Union Ministry of Human Resource Development Govt. of India) “SHIKSHA KENDRA”, 2, COMMUNITY CENTRE, PREET VIHAR, DELHI – 110 301 CBSE/AFF/Circular /2012 8th June, 2012 Circular No.01/2012 All the Principals of Schools affiliated with the CBSE ANNEXURE IX Transport precautions to be observed by Schools A. Exterior of the Bus • All the school buses must be painted with uniform colour preferabbly Yellow with the name of the school written prominently on both sides of the bus so that these can be identified easily. • The word “School Bus” must be written on the back and front of the bus. If it is hired bus, “On School Duty” should be clearly indicated. • Telephone number of the school and/or telephone number of any contact person shall also have to be written prominently in a prominent place in each school bus so that in case of necessity the public can inform the school authority/police or other authorities. B. Fixture and furniture of the Bus • The windows of Bus should be fitted with horizontal grills and with mesh wire. • The doors of the Bus should be fitted with reliable locks that can be locked. • All school buses must be fitted with speed control devices so that they do not exceed the speed limit of 40 Kmph. • There should be a fire extinguisher in the Bus C. Manpower in the Bus • There must be a qualified attendant in the Bus to attend to Children. • Each school should designate one Transport Manager/ Coordinator who will ensure the safety of the school children. • The provision shall also to be made by the school authorities for travelling of at least one teacher in each school bus, keeping in view the safety of the school students all through out the journey and no outsider except the conductor or the said authorized teacher or one person authorized by the guardians shall be allowed to board school bus. • Medical check up regarding the physical fitness of the driver including the eye testing shall be made every year. D. Facilities in the Bus • Bus should have a First Aid Box. • To keep the school bags safely, there should be a space fitted under the seatsor as convenient. • The buses should be fitted with alarm bell/siren so that in case of emergency every one can be alerted. E. Permits • The driver should have valid licence and at least 5 years of experience of driving heavy vehicles. • A driver who has been challaned more than twice in a year for offences like red light jumping, violation of lane discipline or allowing unauthorized person to drive cannot be employed. • A driver who has been challaned even once for the offence of over speeding, driving dangerously or for the offences under Section 279,337,338 and 304A of the Indian Penal Code cannot be employed. • Every vehicle shall carry a suitable photograph of the authorized driver duly certified by the RTA. • Periodical fitness certificate regarding road worthiness of the vehicle shall have to be obtained. • Any school authority and/or driver found to have violated the provision of the Motor Vehicles Act, 1988 and the rules framed thereunder as well as of the directions must be penalized. F.Arrangements in the Schools • All the affiliated schools will make safe arrangement for boarding and deboarding of school children from the school bus. • The school authority shall ensure that the doors of the buses remain shut while in running condition. • They will ensure that buses halt only at bus stops designated for the purpose and within the marked area. • Refresher course of driver training so as to fine tune and increase the proficiency of the driver shall be given to the drivers of the school buses periodically, i.e. least twice in a year. • No person shall be allowed to drive the school bus in drunken condition. Regular check in the respect shall be undertaken by the school authorities and in case of any doubt in that regard such drivers must be subjected to medical test immediately and proper action including the action for cancellation of the license have to be taken. • All drivers of the school buses have to be dressed in a distinctive uniform with their names inscribed in it. • In every school bus there shall be another qualified person to keep attending children travelling in such buses, as conductor, who have to be dressed in distinctive uniform with their names inscribed in it. • The school authority must provide one set of mobile phone in each school bus so that in case of emergency the bus can be contacted or the driver/conductor can contact the police or State authority as well as the school authority. • The authority shall ensure that the school buses are not permitted to over take any other four wheelers while carrying the school children in the bus. • The School authority shall ensure that the students maintain discipline when boarding and disembarking the bus so that no children get hurt. • Effort shall be made by the school to make necessary arrangement for parking the school bus inside the school campus at least at the time of boarding and disembarking. In case it is not possible to park such vehicle inside the school campus, the buses must be parked in such a way so that it does not create any traffic problem for other vehicles. • The school should encourage its children to conduct programmes through play, exhibition etc. during Road Safety Week to create an awareness in public. • Periodic feed-back from students using school Transport facility with regards to driver/conductor be taken and records are to be maintained. *****************************

According to my research and knowledge, these norms were passed in the year 2012. Biggest failure was the implementation of the same.

Every year there were new additions in the regulations. Many private schools did not pay any heed to execute the regulations stated and no strict actions by the government against those schools, made it easier for school authorities to slip away with unfortunate incidents that happened due to transport security flaws.

This year (2016) has already been a witness to many unfortunate incidents of student’s death due to school negligence. Considering which the Haryana Government has formulated “Surakshit School Vahan Policy” to ensure safer transportation of school going children in the state. This policy was framed and discussed to be implemented from April.

Under the scheme, it was agreed that the district level committees and the sub-division level committees would ensure that the buses carrying school children complied with the mandatory requirements as per provisions of the Motor Vehicles Act, 1988 and rules framed thereunder, and also adhere to the directions issued by various courts
regarding safer transportation of school going children.

Direction of the Supreme Court of India for School Bus under ‘Surakshit School Vahan Policy’

(information taken from the website: http://www.shadow.net.in/policy.html)

• "School Bus" must be written on the back and front of the Bus.

• If it is a hired bus, "On School Duty" should be clearly indicated

• Bus must have a First-Aid-Box.

• The windows of Bus must be fitted with horizontal grills.

• There must be a Fire Extinguisher in the Bus.

• School Name and Telephone No. must be written on the Bus.

• The doors of the Bus should be fitted with reliable locks.

• To keep School Bags safely, there should be a space fitted under the seats.

• There must be an Attendant from the School in the Bus. School cabs should be fit with speed governors with maximum speed limit of 40 kmph.

• The body of school cab shall be highway yellow colour with a horizontal strip in green colour of 150mm width in the middle all around the vehicle and the words ‘SCHOOL CAB’ must be prominently displayed on all four sides of the vehicle.

• If age of school children is below 12 years, the number of children carried shall not exceed 1½ times the permitted seating capacity. Children above 12 years shall be treated as one person.

• The driver of a school cab must have valid licence to drive LMV-Transport Vehicles for a period of at least four years and compulsorily wear a light blue shirt, light blue trousers and black shoes. His name ID be displayed on the shirt.

• There must be enough space provided to keep school bags inside the vehicle and the bags should not be hung outside the vehicle or placed on roof carriers.

• The bus driver must carry a complete list of the children being ferried in the school cab, indicating the name, class, residential address, blood group and the points of stoppage, route plan, etc.

• In case of kindergarten, if an authorized person recognised mutually by the school and parents, does not come to pick the child from the halting points and such, the child shall be taken back to the school and their parents should be called.

Latest Additions                 

Because of the incidents happening around there have been rules made on school bus management by the concerned authorities in India to assure safety and secure ride for the students and relief for parents.

·         GPS and CCTV have been made compulsory in school buses. Installation of CCTV in school premises are made compulsory. GPS has been declared compulsory by Central Board of Secondary Education.

·         School bus drivers are restricted to have interaction with students beyond a limit in school bus and socializing with students is also limited.

·         Entering school grounds are restricted to authorized people. Any person suspicious entering the school premises will be reported without fail.

·         ID cards are issued to parents, which must be bought while picking up their children. If they cannot come for picking up their children, an SMS must be send authorizing another person to pick them up.

Under section 188 Act of the Indian Penal Code, any failure on the school’s behalf to obey these new rules and regulations can lead to punishment.

More and more rules are coming in to light for the better travel experience of students.

Standard Requirements for School Buses in India

·         All school buses in India are mandated to have an external colour of Golden Yellow. This colour shall be as per IS 5 -1994 (as amended from time to time)

·         For Identification, a band of 150mm wide of ‘Golden Brown ‘colour might be provided on all sides of the bus below the window level

·         Two emergency exits are mandatory on all school buses in India. One on the rear half of the bus on the right hand side and on the rear side of the bus. Children should be trained to operate these doors.

·         Whenever the bus passenger door or one of the emergency exits is open, the bus should be incapable of motion. The driver should get an indication of the doors being open by means of flashing light/buzzer or other suitable means.

·         The lowest footstep height shall not be more than 220mm from ground. The bus should be incapable of motion without folding or retracting the steps

·         All seats other than the ones facing the passenger step well should be forward facing.  Also, a partition should be provided to the seat facing the step well.

·         Stopping signals, a hazard warning and a stop signal arm should operate whenever the passenger door opens.

·         A tamper-proof speed governor that complies with the requirements of Rule 118 of CMV (A)R 1989 should be provided to ensure the driver doesn’t cross the speed limit.

Any parent/guardian or a teacher may also travel to ensure these safety norms.

Gathering the information was easier. Thanks to my love for computers and my interest in google to raise my awareness on the same; and now yours to an extent. But this is just the beginning. Break through would come when more and more parents will become aware of their right to demand safety for their children in school and the school transport system; when more and more parents would be willing to listen to their children, acknowledge their problems and notify the school administration of any offence or negligence from the driver. 

Time and again I have heard the quote or read it somewhere, sometime ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’. I have tried my best to be that change by raising my voice on the most sensitive issue ‘our children and their security in schools’. The least you can do to see things change for good is to share this article, raise awareness among other parents, become the voice of your child if and when a situation arise.

Don’t wait for the tragedy to come knocking your door. Don’t wait for the candle march’s to get justice for your children.

Wake up now! Be the Change to See the World Change!

Happy awakening!