Life without you won’t be the same…But One Day I Have To Let Go Of You! Let Me Love You A Little More Before You’re Not Little Anymore

Son, when you first shared your dreams with me to set your foot on moon, I believed in you. Those sparkling eyes and your drive to discover new planets and galaxies, your eagerness to travel beyond time in space, made me Wish for your dreams to come true!

I still remember the moment I held you in my arms. You were so tiny and I was scared. You filled my life with laughter. I was captivated to your innocent smile. Your giggles and snuggles became a routine. Like a paparazzi I tried to capture every mood of yours.

  

It seems just like yesterday when you could not tie your shoe laces, when you waited for me to change your clothes, when any silly run around the house was a game, when you were the centre of my world and I was your whole world. It was a time when hugs and kisses were not bound to reasons. There were no sulking days. A mere distraction was enough to cheer you up and forget your fears.

Look at you today young man. You have grown so fast. Time does feel to slip out of hands! You are off to school busy scheduling between studies, music, taekwondo, dance, sports. Once back home you again have a day planned.

You now appear to have a road map laid to find your destiny. You have expanded your horizon of aspirations.

Sooner than I realize you would be ready to fly out of the nest your dad and I built for you over the years. You will leave a trail of memories behind for us to cherish. Our destinations would differ and our lifestyles would vary. With new technology breaking paths every day, don’t judge your folks based on our knowledge and disability to use advanced tech equipped gadgets.

We have done for you the best we could. We gave you wings to soar high. We won’t burden you with the baggage of emotions that your dreams retreat even before its time for you to try!

The day would slip in inaudibly when you retire us of our routine duties and keep us (parents) as your hotline number only; calling us when in need. And we would still be happy to be on the other side of the mirror.

A saying goes around “Men are what their mothers made them”. I have taught you to be human; I have taught you to be tolerant. I have let you fall to understand pain. I have allowed you to make decisions to differentiate between what works sometimes and what does not work at times. I have encouraged you to cry when you felt the need. I have wiped your tears and stood by you in times of fright. I have taught you the strength of prayer.

I have tried imparting to you all the qualities your woman would want to see in her man.

I am letting go of you, slowly and gently.

So, be vigilant of your desires. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined. At the same time, remain entrenched in the ground to reach your roots when your heart feels the need. I am cutting the unseen umbilical cord today that joined you to me from your birth. I am setting you free to touch the sky of your limits.

Keeping Kids Safe: Be Alert So Kids Don’t Get Hurt

I woke up to my 5 o’clock alarm. My husband was still working in his studio. I seized the opportunity to have a cup of tea with my darling husband early in the morning; usually a rare moment in my life! As my husband is not a tea lover. “O’ What a fresh morning,” I thought to myself and giggled.

Soon we both got engaged in our own activities. It was time for him to sleep after a hard work through the night. I got busy getting my elder son ready for school.

Though my son has somehow adjusted to the school transport yet there are few days every month when he nags me to let him be a walker as his best friend.

Today was one such day! But after a lovely start to my day I was not prepared to the emotional nagging drama of my son. Yet there I was consoling him, hugging him, kissing him, and trying to ease up things for him.

I was upset for a while. We walked to the bus stop, silently. His eyes were still wet. But suddenly that was not bothering me anymore, as there seemed to be a bigger problem.

The bus driver and the lady guard were the same as every day. I could not understand who the 3^rd person in the bus was and why was he there? Where was the usual conductor of the bus route!

I exchanged goodbyes and flying kisses with my son as I watched the bus pass me through. I could sense the discomfort in his eyes as there was a new person in the bus, who was not in uniform, his hair was undone and he looked filthy. Also, the fact that there was no teacher in the school bus but only a handful of kids was enough to trigger my panic button.

More than my son now I was scared. This brought to surface the last year’s incident of a 4 year old child molested in the same school’s bus, by similar negligence on part of the school authorities.

Now, it was not just the question of my son’s safety but my moral duty to stand up to voice the carelessness on part of the school transport management.

I quickly wrote an email hoping an immediate action. It was to no use as I did not hear from the school.

My next step was to go to school and confront the transport manager about the whole episode. Minutes later I was in the school reporting the issue. I was surprised and taken aback when I heard the casual statement by the transport manager himself that he knew there was a new person in the bus who was neither a school staff, nor was he verified and was only replaced as they had a shortage of staff for the day.

This meeting lasted only for a few seconds with a slack reassurance.

Many parents must have been through a similar situation concerning their child’s safety in school.

Henceforth, this article is to bring in awareness to the parents and guardians of children availing school transport. Kindly tighten your grip on the school authorities for the safety of your child / children.

Considering the busy schedules and tired lifestyle we have all come to terms with, I would request all those reading this article to find a little quality time to spend with your kids. To know more about their school, their friends, their likes, dislikes and anything else that they might want to share. Be present for them undisturbed. Understand their needs and assure them to reach you if at any point in life they feel threatened or unsafe.

Our kids are our future but we can only enjoy the future with them if we are a part of their present.

Happy Fostering!!

Love Lane: Been There, Done That!

Love always enters our life silently. Sometimes, it is love at first sight; at others it’s an array of confusing thoughts. For some love is an instant connection between two hearts and souls, where in, for others it can be a slow and steady path to tread.

For some it is felt more than touched. For some love is caressing. Sometimes simply smiling at a stranger gestures love…a form of love without any reason and attachment; yet at other times, being a reason for someone’s smile is love.

However we define Love, it does seem to rule and shape our life! And we all need a bit of love every now ‘n’ then.

We love to be hugged. We love to be complimented. We love to be appreciated. Occasionally, we also love to be pampered. Sporadically we love to be loved without any reasons. And the times we deserve it the least, we long to be held close to our beloved and hugged with love. On special days, like birthdays, anniversaries and festivities expectation of love, by default, doubles its need. The list is endless!

Love is welcomed in life to flow with ease when one is not in a committed relationship!

So, what is it with married or committed couples across the globe that changes the plan of love? The fact is that the map of love remains the same; it is ones perception that changes.

Two people are two different individuals till the time they are not committed to each other. Then comes the day of vows and promises…till death do us part!

Dysfunction is that people take the vows literally. They start piling upon the other for all their needs. Sometimes, without even realizing, people start taking each other for granted; then follows nagging and arguments. Life is now set on an automated loop – nag, argue, fight, patch up.

At other times, when conversations cease to exist between couples, either or both retrieve to their shells.

Love is still present between them but nicely kept and deeply hidden in the darkest corner in their hearts. People distance themselves from the one person they fought with the entire world, to be with. They stand opposite each other not realizing that the gap between them is merely an illusion. 

There are always two sides to a story. One is ‘I Love You’ and the other says ‘You Love Me’. Idealization of both the stories is distinct from the realism people live in. No sooner than we realize comes a time when the pressure of day to day life over powers the idea of love. Communication becomes texting; sex becomes a daily errand and people become zombies; walking dead without feelings.

The point here is that: Situations don’t change People; People change Situations. Only if…They want to!

In spite of everything couples do for each other they will still have difference of opinions, for everyone see’s the world through their eyes and walk the course from their own experiences.

Important is to keep the spark of love alive.

Leaving on this note to ponder:

In your life, is it ‘Love Actually’ or is it ‘Love Casually’!

Love Is Not Enough for a Marriage to Work

‘Naina, you have separated me from my family. You are the reason for all my sufferings. How I wish I had not married you’!

Mukul’s words kept replaying in Naina’s mind. She could not believe her ears. She was devastated to know what Mukul thinks about her. Up until now she believed that she was Mukul’s pillar of strength as they both stood many tests of time holding on to each other. Their disagreements never made a way into their love life. Her eyes were flooded with tears that she almost fainted.

Regaining consciousness, now calm and composed, Naina replayed the movie of her life in her mind.

Mukul and Naina were school mates. But their life took separate turns after they passed out from school. Nearly after a decade, one afternoon on a rainy day, they bumped into each other on a busy street of a local market. Back then neither of them knew that their future was pre-destined. Within few months of knowing each other afresh, they decided to get married.

Life seemed a bed of roses as both had high expectations of love from the other. They were so mesmerised by the very fact of being together that reality of life seemed nothing beyond a fairytale.

Months passed by and years took over. They became parents to 3 lovely kids. But the baggage of responsibilities took toll on their relationship. Conversations turned into arguments, fights became a regular activity in their life. Their actions were now governed by their levels of frustration which at times were unexplainable.

Result of which was the statement that Mukul had made today. Naina was unaware of what went down Mukul’s mind that made him so rude and distanced. Naina’s first reaction was walking out of the relationship by filing a divorce. She even considered suicide not once but n number of times; and every time she was over powered by the thought of leaving her children alone in this big bad world.

She was aware of her husband’s strained relationship with his parents much before they got engaged. The fact that Naina was not happily accepted in the family was also not hidden from her. Naina’s mother-in-law grew insecure of her as she was Mukul’s choice. After marriage she tried to bridge the gap but failed to an extent that Mukul and Naina had to finally take a call of moving out from the joint family structure in search of a peaceful living.

Life had its share of ups and downs for Naina and Mukul too. But their love and understanding seemed to keep them together.

Then what had dawned upon Mukul that he did not think twice before blurting the harsh words out his mouth. He forgot all the times when Naina stood by him, believed in his calibre, motivated him to be the best version of himself, held his hands when he felt weak, mended his broken heart; more so that unknowingly Naina had started to live his life in her body.

Naina was upset. She was hurt. She was vulnerable. For, by now, she had forgotten that she was another individual with specific choices, desires and needs.

A day passed by. Naina and Mukul did not speak to each other; as if everything was said n done between them. A day turned into days and the silence became calmer just like it is after a storm.

Naina took this opportunity to retrospect about her life. She was now in her mid 40’s and had become an ancient history to herself.

By now she had realized, love was not enough to keep her going in this relationship; Marriage is more than love. It is acknowledging that two people in an alliance are different individuals with an opinion of their own that are framed according to their life experiences. Marriage is also a two way route of give and take.

She had given upon her dreams, her aspirations and her preferences without regrets.

Now was the moment to take her pride back. She wanted to return in her most loved relationship feeling equal. Naina began digging deep in her heart with a hope to find the little girl she had lost long ago. She started to paint her dreams, take accountability for her actions. The greatest lesson she learnt from her turmoil was to learn to say ‘No’ at the right time, even if it does not feel good to the other. Complying by saying ‘Yes’ to everything makes you no more than a door mat.

Naina recounted all the good times she had spent with Mukul. She came to terms with the fact that her happiness is her own responsibility. Her suffering is her own formation.

Similarly, what Mukul was going through was a world of his creation. Blaming Naina for his failures and separation from his family was merely a way to escape facing the repercussions of one’s actions.

Naina decided to take a step back and stop being Mukul’s punching bag.

She knew Mukul had gone too far this time with his words and that their relationship will never be the same again. Naina had already forgiven Mukul for forgiveness she knew he will never ask for. She loved him then. She loved him still, but this time she had learnt to love and respect herself equally.

An Interview with the Cook of the House

My son came back home after a fruitful day at school. All excited and geared up to interview his mom – the Cook of the House. I could sense the excitement in his voice. Distance from the bus-stop to our home was covered with a never ending conversation about his experience of interviewing the didi’s in school. He was pleased to know on the subject of what the didi’s liked about their work and was astonished to hear that they also faced some struggles while on job.

New methodology of teaching in school’s these days suddenly seemed like a meaningful activity in my life. Kids were not only getting hands on experience of what they were taught in the class but were also realizing to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts of their family members and helpers around.

Today was a day unlike everyday for my little one. He was the journalist for the day, all set and ready with the questionnaire for his mom. I was excited too! For a fact that at least someone in the house wanted to know me better. And of course, given an opportunity who would not like to be a celebrity for a day!

TV time reduced to half-n-hour from an hour, a quick take on homework was another surprise and after the successful completion of taekowondo class, my son sat me down next to him. All he wanted was my full concentration and my answers to his questions.

The teacher had nicely framed the survey. Every question came as an awakening to me.

I have been cooking for over a decade now. Initially, when I was introduced to kitchen after marriage, it was a pleasure cooking for the family. My kitchen was more like a scientist’s lab that had witnessed new recipe experiments on a daily basis. Those were the days I loved to cook as my family appreciated my efforts and were all praise for my cooking trials.

Gradually, with increasing responsibilities cooking became a daily chore. By now I had become a humanoid robot programmed to cook as and when the demand arose. Kitchen seemed to be the only place I spent most of my day.

Up until today, while trying to figure out answers to my son’s questions, I had come face to face with the truth that how much I hated to be the cook of the house.

Not that I don’t want to cook for the people I love but now I reckon that I wasn’t born just to cook.

Baking is my latest craze. And as much difficult it was to sign up for hands on classes so much easy and handy came in the technology. YouTube is my tutor and my smart phone my learning platform. Cakes, cup cakes, pasta and pizza popped up like my new found love.

To put an end to my time management struggle in between the kitchen chores and other daily activities I hired a help to cut and chop vegetables; shedding nearly 90% of my cooking pressure.

Each response to the interview questions was candid. This practice taught my son to appreciate my efforts that goes into cooking every meal of each day.

As for me, this quick run through on the subject of cooking got me a step closer to knowing myself better.

To all the women who lose their individuality and identity after marriage and are mostly judged on the basis of their cooking abilities, it’s time to wake up and stand up for your desires. If cooking is not what you love to do, there are part-time helpers to do the needful. Make good use of the help available.

As for oneself, put your dancing shoes on and enrol for a dance class if that’s what you have been waiting for. Or get your reading glasses on and finish up the novel you have been dying to read for God knows how long! Stop waiting for life to happen….Get your ass up and Make Life Happen; and henceforth, you will be happy, Always!