How you Perceive is how you feel!

There are sunny days and there are rainy days; being a mother isn't easy!

Yesterday from my kitchen I could hear someone shouting at top of her voice. Listening closely I heard a mother yelling at and lecturing her kids. For a moment it was a relief knowing that I am not the only mom on the block who's imperfect! Shedding off a little guilt of my heart acted more like a medicine.

At the core of the situation, the mother seems to be a heartless soul trying to control her kids. But dig a little deeper and you find 'there's a cry for help!'

It is not easy setting your priorities and life around kids. It's a responsibility! And believe you me, as a mommy, you would not want to go wrong in anyway you could when it comes to raising your kids. Also, dealing with the tantrums is the biggest energy drainer.

A mom to 2 lovely kids myself, I too lose my patience at times. All I wonder at that time is does anyone around in the house stops, even for a moment, to think, "Hey what must be bothering her so much to slip down her tolerance level?" May be she's having a bad day! May be her hormones are making her go crazy! Or may be it is just another try to be a Perfect Mother! You never know what she's thinking, until you want to know!

The truth is She is expected to sacrifice anything and everything when it comes to family and kids. So much so that she does not realize it that she has become extinct in her own life! She has become a 'Lost Story!' Sad but true!

Sacrifice! It's a word that sucks! It sucks life out of a happy, lively, cheerful girl / woman you once were. You know what gal....go out, have a life, no matter what, no matter where you are....it is just one life! 

We as a mother Prioritize and not sacrifice. How you perceive is how you feel!

Sacrifice is a heavy duty word. We build our dreams around our kids, expecting at the same time for a little breather every now n then. Believing it is not too much to ask for!

All the lovely moms out there who are reading this article, just keep doing what you are doing, for you are doing just great! Being a good mother is not about perfecting the Art of Motherhood or measuring on the scale of sacrifices you are expected to make. It is about being happy in your own imperfections and raising happy kids not the perfect ones..:-).. It is about knowing your priorities and making necessary choices!

Shape your life that when you look back, even in the shades of grey, you can see the rainbow you built along the way!

Have a fun-filled day..:-)..

Reflections: From a Woman's Diary

Life is all about creating!

Creating a newer Me!

With each passing day facing the truth, only to realize, I am unseen, unthanked and sometimes unaccepted among the people I live.

My tears flow unnoticed. My feelings go unheard.

My words fell on deaf ears. My plight seen by blind eyes.

And yet I go on doing what I have been brainwashed to do, day in and day out. Take care....take care of everyone around, but me! Do as other's say. But forgot to listen to my inner voice. I was taught I will feel happy when people around me are happy. In the process to make others happy I lost my identity. I became what others expected me to be. I did everything that would make them happy. And soon, I lost my idea of Happiness.

A big question that kept my mind rolling....Was I happy?

On the surface, it seemed like I was! But when I surfed deeper into my thoughts, I got a wake up call. My life had fallen apart. I had completely lost the track of myself in the process to become a woman from being a girl. I was the last person who mattered in my own life! Alarming!

Last night I escaped the rush hours of my life and was lucky enough to find sometime by myself. In the park under the night sky, a slight wind breeze kissing my cheeks, stars glaring back at me, I was alone..and Happy!..:-).. It was a feeling of freedom like never before. It was as if I had unchained myself from the fear of loneliness. I sat there for hours. 

Ah! I could not believe myself!..:-)..

Today came as a new morning, a new life, a new me!

Saying goes, when a problem or a person enters your life, it does not go away till you have learnt your lesson. Very proudly I announce that, may be not with flying colors, but I passed and learnt my lesson well..:-)..

"My Happiness is My Responsibility". 

The whole idea of being alone and still staying happy seems ridiculous to many. Perception goes to be happy you need people around you. One's happiness is counted by number of friends in their life or money they earn or their spending power or some other stupid logic that is backed up by validations. In a way they need a reason to justify their happiness too! Not so cool!

Know that it takes more courage to believe what seems ridiculous!

And where you stand today might be the only chance!

Happiness is Real. Staying sad is your choice!

Think over!

Time! Know it's Worth!

Two days ago we went to meet my in-laws. It was a nice family time as always. While kids were engaged in playing with their dad and grandpa, my mother-in-law and I got into a conversation about writing. I knew my mil used to write poems (from her college days). But I never had a chance to read her creations. So that was the day!

With gleam in her eyes and pride in her voice, she started to read her poems to me. I could feel the happiness while she read all the poems one after the other. To my surprise and shock there were only a handful of poems.

With a 60 plus years walking on this earth and with such a good command over the language, why in the world did she stop writing!

I could not hold the question for long and asked her the reason to quit writing.

It wasn't a surprise to hear what she said. Marriage, kids, responsibilities, adjustments, and an ongoing list. Doesn't it sound familiar? That's what we tell ourselves when it comes to justifying our own time and needs.

Anyways, before leaving I asked her if I could borrow her diary for a few days. She gave it to me..:-)..

Drive back home that night was not quiet peaceful for me. There was something within that had changed that night. It was my outlook towards my needs!

I kept wondering, my mil spent more than half of her life trying to find out 'one fine day' when she could sit undisturbed for hours and write again!

I kept wondering, that I lived 30 years of my life looking down upon my mom without acknowledging that she sacrificed her needs and time to let me and my siblings be what we are today! How I wish I had known all these things years before! My mom and I could have been the best of friends (as we are today); that I believe she must have longed for from the day I was born! She could have also continued with her passion of teaching (she was a teacher before marriage)..only if i had know the value of a mother's time back then..:-(..

Big question is how many women / girls give upon their passion just because other members in the family are so busy building up their dream castles at the value of her time.

Never-the-less, it is not too late yet!

One of my very close friends, in fact, God Mother to my kids, once told me...."Life will go on with increasing responsibilities, but never forget your 'Girlie' time. You need it. It's your breather." Now I truly understand what she meant.

So here I am writing this blog..:-).. Everyday making it a point to make some time for myself to write, to paint, to read, to bake or sleep for hours without being disturbed (I can't loose on my beauty you see..:-)..for that a Biiig Thanks to my hubby who takes care of kids while I sleep..:-)..)

Before I say good bye to all the lovely people reading this article, I am sharing two poems. One is from my mil's collection that I liked the most and the other one is mine that I love the most.

Happy Reading!

रात     (by Sunita Mendiratta)

धूप कुछ नर्म हुई

शाम फिर ढल गई

सितारों की ओड़नी ले

तुम बन संवर गई

सब पर छिड़क इत्र निद्रा का

तुम स्वयं ही लज्जा गई

दुल्हन का सा रूप रचा

तुम विरह में खो गई

भोर होने से पहले

तुम तनहा हो गई

लाल रथ पर सवार

बन दूल्हा जब आया वो

तुम न जाने कहाँ खो गई

यूँ ही आने जाने में

दिन से रात हो गई

बिटिया  (by Prachi M)

बिटिया होना आसान नहीं था

अपनी पहचान का सामान नहीं था

माँ बापू की लाडो,

भले ही थी में गुडिया;

पर इस दुनिया से टकराना

आसान नहीं था

बिटिया होना आसान नहीं था

बचपन पर अपने नाज़ बड़ा था,

आँगन बाबुल का सपनों सा सजा था;

आँखों में आँसूं न थे सदा के,

माँ का आँचल आसमां से बड़ा था;

बिटिया होना आसान नहीं था

उम्र बड़ी जब उड़ान नई थी,

कट कर ज़मीं पर पंख गिरे,

सचाई की तस्वीर कटु बड़ी थी;

रस्मों का बंधन कड़ा था जकड़ा,

दिल को इजाज़त न थी वरना,

कौन कहता है हमको

अरमान नहीं था;

बिटिया होना आसान नहीं था

I miss my Childhood days

I miss my childhood days.

Playing cricket on the roads,
and football in the rain.

Reading comics hiding in school books.
Walking my dog seemed so cool.

I miss my childhood days.

No measure of day and night;
Only play was motto of life.

On phone with never ending calls.
Fighting with siblings,
for things that were not even ours.

I miss my childhood days.

Television was our whole world.
Spider-man and He-man;
the super hero's who would save us
if we forgot to do our homework.

Tom n Jerry would make us laugh.
Tears in our buddies eyes
would make us cry.

I miss my childhood days.

Exams was the biggest worry.
Forgetting our lessons,
the greatest sorrow.

How times have changed!

Gadgets have taken over outdoor games.
Children mature before age.
Innocence is lost with decades.

Nothing seems to impress brain'o'brains.
Science has taken over fun games.

I wonder what the future is?

We are raising no humans with feelings.
But robots
with technical glitches.

If only the saying
'Old is Gold' was true.
Our children would know:

what it meant to be
surrounded with friends.

what it meant to
cry and laugh with them.

what it meant to share
a single toffee.

what it meant to fall in love
without despair.

If only history could be traced;
with my children,
I would live 'my' childhood days. 

Barbie Land

I am a Barbie.
Cute, little Barbie
who lives in the
Barbie land.

I live in a castle
made of bricks
and,
i play in the sand.

I like music.
So, I have
my own girlie band.

I love to play
and eat
and sing
and dance.

I love to travel
to far off places.
I love to read
about angels and fairies.

But when I am tired
I come back
to my room
in my castle.

O'O' Barbie
I am a Barbie.
Who lives in the Barbie Land.

Twinkle in your eyes..makes me Smile!!

Twinkle-Twinkle in your eyes.

What's it about my apple-pie?


Is it about

winning a match?

Or

Is it about

decoding the code?


Is it about

breaking the rules unfair?

Or

Is it about

the answered prayers?


O'dear

I may not know the reason!

But,

Happiness

is a good season.


Let it stay!

Always this way.


Come in life,

whatever may!